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    Cledus T. Judd / Lyrics

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    "Merry Christmas From the Whole Fam Damily [*]" Lyrics

    Cledus T. Judd

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    Twas the fight before Christmas
    When all through the house
    No furniture left standing, no TV or couch
    Our aquarium, heck they even knocked over my Chia Pet
    MeMaw was flung 'cross the room by her hair
    By her sister Ethel who never fought fair

    Let's get ready to tumble!!!!!!!

    The children all wrestled and jumped off the beds
    Dropping elbows and knees on each other's heads
    And mamaw with her frying pan and pa with his bat
    Cleared half the room in ten seconds flat
    The whole brawl began from an innocent matter
    When aunt Flo thought Eugene said "she looks a whole lot fatter"
    She knocked him through the window he fell with a crash
    Tore down the gutters and busted his leg really bad

    You ought to have saw it
    It looked like he'd been in a motorcycle wreck
    No kiddin'
    Yeah awful I couldn't turn to look at it

    you see both sides of our family have never gotten along
    And every holiday something always go wrong
    You ain't supposed to fight but spread joy in this season
    But when they get the nog they just look for a reason
    In no time at all everybody joined in
    And right there we squared off with our closest of kin
    It's a time for givin' said uncle bill
    As he gave a black eye to his brother-in-law phil
    I heard somebody say "it's the thought that counts
    And right now I'm thinking about knocking your butt out"
    Presents and fists flew all over the room
    And nana had some fancy moves with the broom
    She took out three cousins and knocked down the tree
    And I ducked just in time she swung out at me

    It's my favorite time of year
    Dad always has too much beer
    Gets on the roof and hunts reindeer
    Merry Christmas from the whole fam damily

    Tie the antlers on the dog
    Save some shine for Santa Claus
    From all the in-laws and outlaws
    Merry Christmas from the whole fam damily

    I crawled to the phone lord it seemed like a mile
    And called 9-1-1 which we keep on speed dial
    In a matter of minutes out the window appeared
    Flashing blue lights and the sheriff John Deere
    Just then six men burst through the door
    Some yelling "hey it's us" some "get on the floor"
    A stray punch from grandpa found the sheriff's chin
    And just for good measure he clocked him again
    It took all 6 cops to get grandpa in cuffs
    You know he gets feisty when he runs out of snuff
    We all stopped our fighting and cheered grandpa on
    Heck I thought he could take them I guess I was wrong
    As they dragged him outside he yelled "I've been framed"
    He was kicking and screaming and calling them names

    "You (bleep) you (bleep)
    Let me go you (bleep)
    You donut eatin stupid (bleep) son of a (bleep)"

    We stood on the porch as did all our neighbras
    Who always took interest in our family's behavior
    "mind your own business" we heard grandma shout
    And "we'll take back the presents and then come bail you out"
    By now we'd forgotten what we were fighting for
    We were battered and bruised but united once more
    Then we all joined hands and sang "violent night"

    Violent night

    And we heard grandpa exclaim as they drove off out of sight:
    "Merry christmas to all...man that was a good fight!!!!"

    Deck your neighbor deck the halls
    'Tis the season for a brawl
    From all of us to all of y'all
    Merry christmas from the whole fam damily
    Merry christmas from the whole fam damily
    Merry christmas from the whole fam damily
    This song was submitted on October 18th, 2016.
    Copyright with Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group.
    Written by James Barry Poole, Chris Clark.
    Lyrics licensed by LyricFind.

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