"I Ain't His Child" Lyrics

My daddy says
I ain't his child
Ain't that something?

Ain't that wild?
Daddy says
I ain't his child
Ain't that something

Wild, my hair is curly
My freckles are tan
Could my daddy be
The garbage man?

My legs are stumpy
My fingers are short
Like my uncle Will
Who is the bowling sport?

My eyes are slanty
Like mister Woo
Hey, mister laundryman
Is it you?

I'm ugly as Steve
With the big mustache
But Mama says poles
Are a piece of trash

Hey, anybody, I might
Have missed
Would you care to state
That I exist?

I ain't quite sure
What it is I did
To make him swear?
That I ain't his kid

But he told mama
And she told me
Back when I was
Just about three

She felt my face
And she kind of smiled
And she said, he say
You ain't my child

My daddy says
I ain't his child
Ain't that something?

Ain't that wild
Daddy says
I ain't his child
Ain't that something wild?

Ain't that something wild?