"The Story of Willy" Lyrics

On the morning of the day of the Apocalypse
Willy woke up and made himself bacon and eggs and rye toast
He did usually eat bacon, but since today was such a special day,
He figured why not, like most people these days,
He had a hard time keeping his food down, but that didn't stop Willy from eating
He enjoyed food to much.
Willy went outside, he loved to breathe fresh air, but he went outside anyway
He decided to head across the street and visit his good friend Bob.
When Willy got to Bob's house, he found that Bob, in utter despair,
Had shot himself in the head,
"Some people have no patience whatsoever" Willy proclaimed,
Well, I'm not going to kill myself,
I'm sticking it out, today's a special day
The last day of planet Earth and I'm going to enjoy myself
Maybe today I won't go to the health spa,
Maybe I'll just stay here and drink all of Bob's beer
Or maybe when Bob's wife comes home, I'll take her out dancing
Yeah, that's it, dancing I'm going home to get changed
Willy raced out the door into the street, not noticing the runaway steamroller
That flattened him into a pancake in less that one second
The World would have to end without Willy