"Vasectomy Song" Lyrics

I went to see my doctor, I said Doc I can't pay my bills
The rent's all spent, the truck's got a dent
And I think I'm getting the chills
From being forced to sleep alone
You know this house just ain't no home
I can't afford no more kids, my life's on the skids
Cause my woman says leave me alone
Unless you get a
Vasectomy, ya gotta get a vasectomy
Just one little male alteration
Could save us from another altercation
It's a
Vasectomy, you gotta getta vasectomy
What a vas deferens there could be

The next thing I knew I was laying on a table
With a light shining in my eyes
They strapped my wrists, they strapped my ankles
And they double-strapped my thighs
The nurses were giggling and I was wiggling
Most uncomfortably
When the Doc walked in with a perverted grin
And here's what he said to me"
"It only hurts for a little while
That's what they tell me, that's what they say"

It's two weeks later and I feel a little better
And my mind's much more at ease
My rent's still spent, the truck's still got a dent
But my woman is no longer a tease
And even down at the office, there's a lot more interest in me
The girls all grin when I walk in and brother they mean to please
A man with a Vasectomy
I got a vasectomy
Like a Fun Kissed Orange, I been freed
Cause it's all juice and there's no seed

With a vasectomy
You gotta get a vasectomy
What a vas deferens
It's beginning to make a little sense
What a vas deferens there could ..
(spoken)
here is the part that I like most
it takes the danger out of being close

What a vas deferens there could
(spoken)
They snipped those suckers right in two
And clamped them off with super glue

What a vas deferens there could be!