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    Maximillian Colby / Lyrics

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    "Balance" Lyrics

    Maximillian Colby

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    Testimony in trials that never got heard

    My lovers teeth are white geese flying above me
    My lovers muscles are rope ladders under my hands

    We were driving home slow
    My lover and I, across the long Bay Bridge,
    One February midnight, when midway
    Over in the far left lane, I saw a strange scene:

    One small young man standing by the rail,
    And in the lane itself, parked straight across
    As if it could stop anything, a large young
    Man upon a stalled motorcycle, perfectly

    Relaxed as if he'd stopped at a hamburger stand;
    He was wearing a peacoat and levis, and
    He had his head back, roaring, you
    Could almost hear the laugh, it

    Was so real.
    "Look at that fool," I said, "in the
    Middle of the bridge like that," a very
    Womanly remark.

    Then we heard the meaning of the noise
    Of metal on a concrete bridge at 50
    Miles an hour, and the far left lane
    Filled up with a big car that had a

    Motorcycle jammed on its front bumper, like
    The whole thing would explode; the friction
    Sparks shot up bright orange for many feet
    Into the air, and the racket still sets
    My teeth on edge.

    When the car stopped we stopped parallel
    And Wendy headed for the callbox while I
    Ducked across those 6 lanes like a mouse
    In the bowling alley. "Are you hurt?" I said,

    The middle-aged driver had the greyest black face,
    "I couldn't stop, I couldn't stop, what happened?"

    Then I remembered. "Somebody, " I said, "was on
    The motorcycle." I ran back,
    One block? two blocks? The space for walking
    On the bridge is maybe 18 inches, whoever

    Engineered this arrogance. in the dark
    Stiff wind it seemed I would
    Be pushed over the rail, would fall down
    Screaming onto the hard surface of

    The bay, but I did not, I found the tall young man
    Who thought he owned the bridge, now lying on
    His stomach, head cradled in his broken arm.

    He had glasses on, but somewhere he had lost
    Most of his levis, where were they?
    And his shoes. Two short cuts on his buttocks,
    That was the only mark except his thin white
    Seminal tubes were all strung out behind; no
    Child left in him; and he looked asleep.

    I plucked wildly at his wrist, then put it
    Down; there were two long haired women
    Holding back the traffic just behind me
    With their bare hand, the machines came
    Down like mad bulls, I was scared, much

    More than usual, I felt easily squished
    Like the earthworms crawling on a busy
    Sidewalk after the rain; I wanted to
    Leave. And met the driver, walking back.

    "The guy is dead." I gripped his hand,
    The wind was going to blow us off the bridge.

    "Oh my God" he said, "haven't I had enough
    Trouble in my life?" He raised his head,
    And for a second was enraged and yelling,
    At the top of the bridge "I was just driving

    Home!" His head fell down. "My God, and
    Now I've killed somebody."

    I looked down at my own peacoat and levis,
    Then over at the dead man's friend, who
    Was bawling and blubbering, what they would
    Call hysteria in a woman. "It isn't possible"

    He wailed, but it was possible, it was
    Indeed, accomplished and unfeeling, snoring
    In its peacoat, and without its levis on.

    He died laughing: that's a fact.

    I had a woman waiting for me,
    In her car and in the middle of the bridge,
    I'm frightened, I said.
    I'm afraid, he said, stay with me,

    Please don't go, stay with me, be
    My witness "No," I said, "I'll be your
    Witness later," and I took his name
    And number, "but I can't stay with you,

    I'm too frightened of the bridge, besides
    I have a woman waiting
    And no license
    And no tail lights "

    So I left
    As I have left so many of my lovers.

    We drove home
    Shaking, Wendy's face greyer
    Than any white person's I have ever seen.
    Maybe he beat his wife, maybe he once

    Drove taxi, and raped a lover
    Of mine how to know these things?
    We do each other in, that's a fact.

    Who will be my witness?
    Death wastes our time with drunkenness
    And depression
    Death, who keeps us from our

    He had a woman waiting for him,
    I found when I called the number
    Days later

    "Where is he" she said, "he's disappeared/"
    "He'll be all right" I said, "we could
    Have hit the guy as easy as anybody, it
    Wasn't anybody's fault, they'll know that,"

    Women so often say dumb things like that,
    They teach us to be sweet and reassuring,
    And say ignorant things, because we don't invent
    The crime, the punishment, the bridges

    That same week I looked into the mirror
    And nobody was there to testify;
    How clear, and unemployed queer woman
    Makes no witness at all,
    Nobody at all was there for
    Those two questions: what does
    She do, and who is she married to?

    I am the woman who stopped on the bridge
    And this is the man who was there
    Our lovers teeth are white geese flying
    Above us, but we ourselves are
    Easily squished.

    Keep the women small and weak
    And off the street, and off the
    Bridges, that's the way, brother
    One day I will leave you there,
    As I have left you there before,
    Working for death.

    We found out later
    What we left him to.
    Six big policemen answered the call,
    All white, and no child in them.
    They put the driver up against his car
    And beat the hell out of him.
    What did you kill that poor kid for?
    You mutherfucking nigger.
    That's a fact.

    Death only uses violence
    When there is any kind of resistance,
    The rest of the time a slow
    Weardown will do.

    They took him to 4 different hospitals
    Til they got a drunk test report to fit their
    Case, and held him five days in jail
    Without a phone call.
    How many lovers have we left.

    There are as many contradictions to the game,
    As there are players.
    A woman is talking to death,
    Though talk is cheap, and like takes a long time
    To make
    Right. He got a cheesy lawyer
    Who had him cop a plea, 15 to 20
    Instead of life
    Did I say life?

    The arrogant young man who thought he
    Owned the bridge, and fell asleep on it
    He died laughing: that's a fact.
    The driver sits out his time
    Off the street somewhere,
    Does he have the most vacant of
    Eyes, will he die laughing?

    A table they made and on it was laid a baby we gave
    and I'm so dry mud cracked I maybe we deny where these
    walls won't let go of my eyes we made a circle of smoke
    on a train please same me from saying it was easy we
    were driving across the bridge so slow he lost his child in the snow
    This song was submitted on November 24th, 2013 and last modified on November 24th, 2016.
    Copyright with Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd..
    Written by Brett Morris Curotta.
    Lyrics licensed by LyricFind.

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