"DQ Blizzard" Lyrics

Your rapper, he's whack
Does he even try?
Can he do what mine do?
Think you should say goodbye.
Get up on the mic like a five on a fifty.
Quickly avoid the hickeys of the bucktoothed bitties.
Fake Timberlake just to be by Britney.
Smoke that pipe with Whitney.
Shoot that blow with Iggy.
LIB, NYC, and all places in between,
You can call me a mint coz I make the green.
I make the scene. I make believe that you all was naked,
So I wouldn't have to fake it, just copy and paste it
Like Adobe Photoshop, Red Foreman in "Robocop,"
I get up on the mic and you know I won't fuckin' stop.
It's like the props of Carrot Top, or yellow stains in my socks.
You acting like you hip? You're all hepped up on hopps.
So just do the body rock, coz the beat just be so thumpin'.
Let's get our groove on before our carriage is a pumpkin,
Before they outlaw fuckin', not bad for a drunken munchkin.
My name is mc chris welcome to my lyric luncheon.
Word up, word up, word up, word up
And you know, whoa, whoa, whoa

Name's mc, my band's The Lee Majors.
Put us on the bill, and boy you hit paydirt.
When I'm on the mic, the girlies wanna flizzirt,
But I tell them chill like a DQ Blizzard.
Half corn beef and cabbage, half Fred Savage.
A better than average rapper with a have-to-have-it habit.
Heir apparants on my carrot like they was Jessica Rabbit,
Like fake wood paneling on the side of Station wagons.
Fraggle Rock on the box, Fruit Loops on my chin,
Wondering' if I'm ever really gonna fit in,
Or be a son of a bitch with a gut and some tits
Or a roaming casanova with my dick in a ******
I'll be back in a bit. I gotta floss my johnson,
Make that cream for the state Wisconsin.
You say all of my shit is complete nonsense,
Fuck my CD and the shitty ass contents.
Bullshit! My shit's the bomb.
Siamese twins want ménage a trois.
Robot bitches want their backs massaged.
They may not be real but their tits is large.
Word up, word up, word up, word up
And you know, whoa, whoa, whoa
Name's mc, my band's The Lee Majors.
Put us on the bill, and boy you hit paydirt.
When I'm on the mic, the girlies wanna flizzirt,
But I tell them chill like a DQ Blizzard.