"Sadder But Wiser Girl" Lyrics

(Spoken)
No wide-eyed, eager, wholesome, innocent
Sunday-school teacher for me
That kinda girl spins webs no spider ever... listen boy...
A girl who trades on all that purity
Merely wants to trade my independence for her security
(Sung)
The only affirmative she will file
Refers to marching down the aisle
No golden, glorious, gleaming pristine goddess, no sir!
For no Diana do I play faun, I can tell you that right now
I snarl, I hiss, how can ignorance be compared to bliss?
I spark, I fizz, for the lady who knows what time it is
I cheer, I rave, for the virtue I'm too late to save
The sadder but wiser girl for me
No bright-eyed, blushing, breathless baby-doll baby, no sir!
That kinda child ties knots no sailor ever knew
I prefer to take a chance on a more adult romance
No dewy young miss who keeps resisting
All the time she keeps insisting
No wide-eyed, wholesome, innocent female, no sir!
Why, she's the fisherman, I'm the fish, you see? Plop!
I flinch, I shy when the lass with the delicate air goes by
I smile, I grin when the gal with a touch of sin walks in
I hope, I pray for Hester to win just one more 'A'
The sadder but wiser girl's the girl for me
The sadder but wiser girl for me