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"The 12 Days Of Christmas" Lyrics

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THE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS

On the first day of christmas my true love gives to me, a cartridge in the left knee (Ow)
On the second day of christmas my true love gives to me, two swollen bollocks and a cartridge in the left knee (Ow)
On the third day of christmas my true love gives to me, three chinese burns, two swollen bollocks and a cartridge in the left knee (Ow)
On the fourth day of christmas the old cow give to me, four flying headbutts, three chinese burns, two swollen bollocks and a cartridge in the left knee (Ow, fuck off, not again)
On the fifth day of christmas the old trout gives to me, five broken ribs, (here we fuckin' goes) four flying headbutts, three chinese burns, two swollen bollocks and a cartridge in the left knee (Put it down love, 0w)
On the sixth day of christmas my true love gives to me, six broken toes, five shattered ribs, (I didn't fuckin' know it was 'ewe sister) four flying headbutts, three chinese burns, two swollen bollocks and a cartridge in the left knee ('ewe'll have the fuckin' head)
On the seventh day of christmas the old cow give to me, seven wounds a bleeding, six broken toes, five shattered ribs, ('ewe fuckin' mental 'ewe are) four flying headbutts, three chinese burns, two swollen bollocks and a cartridge in the left knee (here it fuckin' comes)
On the eighth day of christmas my true love give to me, eight compound fractures, seven wounds a bleeding, six broken toes, five shattered ribs, ('Oi, that's my fuckin gun) four flying headbutts, three chinese burns, two swollen bollocks and a cartridge in the left knee (I'm in fuckin' agony)
On the ninth day of christmas the old cow give to me, nine solid knockouts, eight compound fractures, seven wounds a bleeding, six broken toes, five shattered ribs, (I'm gonna get my fuckin' bat) four flying headbutts, three chinese burns, two swollen bollocks and a cartridge in the left knee (surprise, surprise)
On the tenth day of christmas the old cow give to me, ten total hammerings, nine solid knockouts, eight compound fractures, seven wounds a bleeding, six broken toes, five shattered ribs, (oh fuck, her mother's coming now) four flying headbutts, three chinese burns, two swollen bollocks and a cartridge in the left knee (I've had a titful of this)
On the eleventh day of christmas the old cow give to me, eleven lacerations, ten total hammerings, nine solid knockouts, eight compound fractures, seven wounds a bleeding, six broken toes, five shattered ribs, (oh fuck, her old man got a gun now) four flying headbutts, three chinese burns, two swollen bollocks and a cartridge in the left knee (how many fuckin' bullets have 'ewe got)
On the twelfth day of christmas the old cow gives to me, twelve days in traction, eleven lacerations, ten total hammerings, nine solid knockouts, eight compound fractures, seven wounds a bleeding, six broken toes, five shattered ribs, (don't fuckin' stand there, ring an ambulance) four flying headbutts, three chinese burns, two swollen bollocks and a cartridge in the fuckin' left knee (surprise, surfuckinprise, fuckin' hurts an' all. FUCK OFF)

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AddedJanuary 3rd, 2005
Last updatedMarch 7th, 2022
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