Old Ella felt bad, she didn't know what she had
So she went down to see the old doctor.
She tried to drop a load, but the tests they all showed
An obstruction had gone up and blocked 'er.
The doctor stood back and looked at that ass crack,
Each butt cheek the size of a barrel.
He slipped on his gloves and he pushed and he shoved
In the rectum of Ella Fitzgerald.
The search began strong: with some barbecue tongs
He pulled out two plums and a melon.
He then cried "Oh Lord" as he plucked out a gourd,
And it looked just like Ian McKellan.
And Lordy, that gourd it was smellin'.
He stumbled and then almost fell in.
And what he'll find next there's no tellin'.
That gaping crevasse that was old Ella's ass
Was a dark and forboding prospectus.
He found two payphones, old Glen Miller's trombone,
And the skull of a homo erectus.
And over there on the side, Jimmy Hoffa had died
And he lay there all stinking and rotten.
Then George Bush sent in troops to parade through the poop
In the search for Osama bin Ladin.
After one more good poke, the tongs they were broke,
So he called for a pick and a shovel.
He tried to be brave as he looked in that cave
And he said "Lads, we might be in trouble...
We're going inside of a hole brown and wide
With an atmosphere surely not sterile.
So strap on your mask, and we'll finish the task
In the rectum of Ella Fitgerald."
He reached in that muck and he pulled out a duck,
Seven pheasants, a goose and a gander;
A scale model train and an ultralight plane
And a rusted but working belt sander.
Then later, a used lunar lander.
Their luck would soon change when they hired a crane
And they pulled out that broken bulldozer.
The people all cheered for her ass was now clear
And the only job left was to close her.
The fart that was cut when that asshole slammed shut
Put the whole of the city in peril.
I've heard it be said sixteen men were struck dead
By the rectum of Ella Fitzgerald.
So she went down to see the old doctor.
She tried to drop a load, but the tests they all showed
An obstruction had gone up and blocked 'er.
The doctor stood back and looked at that ass crack,
Each butt cheek the size of a barrel.
He slipped on his gloves and he pushed and he shoved
In the rectum of Ella Fitzgerald.
The search began strong: with some barbecue tongs
He pulled out two plums and a melon.
He then cried "Oh Lord" as he plucked out a gourd,
And it looked just like Ian McKellan.
And Lordy, that gourd it was smellin'.
He stumbled and then almost fell in.
And what he'll find next there's no tellin'.
That gaping crevasse that was old Ella's ass
Was a dark and forboding prospectus.
He found two payphones, old Glen Miller's trombone,
And the skull of a homo erectus.
And over there on the side, Jimmy Hoffa had died
And he lay there all stinking and rotten.
Then George Bush sent in troops to parade through the poop
In the search for Osama bin Ladin.
After one more good poke, the tongs they were broke,
So he called for a pick and a shovel.
He tried to be brave as he looked in that cave
And he said "Lads, we might be in trouble...
We're going inside of a hole brown and wide
With an atmosphere surely not sterile.
So strap on your mask, and we'll finish the task
In the rectum of Ella Fitgerald."
He reached in that muck and he pulled out a duck,
Seven pheasants, a goose and a gander;
A scale model train and an ultralight plane
And a rusted but working belt sander.
Then later, a used lunar lander.
Their luck would soon change when they hired a crane
And they pulled out that broken bulldozer.
The people all cheered for her ass was now clear
And the only job left was to close her.
The fart that was cut when that asshole slammed shut
Put the whole of the city in peril.
I've heard it be said sixteen men were struck dead
By the rectum of Ella Fitzgerald.
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