"Plastic Surgery Wagon" Lyrics

Have you seen my vending truck
A-Rollin' down the street?
Well it rolls all over this great land,
wherever there's a need
It don't sell books or clothes, hot dogs or ice cream
But it's changing the face of the nation-- cosmetically.

My Plastic Surgery Wagon
Will make you look like a star!
It's just like buying an ice cream bar,
But you pay a lot more money and you get a scar.

You can tell where the where the wagon's been
It's not too discreet
We'll leave the whole town without an ounce of cellulite
And the bloody, bandaged people lying in the street.

Mommies don't waste your food stamps
On those useless groceries
Cash them in to me,
And you'll have the down payment
For your Rhinoplasty

My Plastic Surgery Wagon
Is coming to your neighborhood
Not everybody wants to get it done
But everybody should!

You can tell where the where the wagon's been
The neighborhoods it hits:
Look for the skinny, skinny mommy with the
Gore-Tex lips
And her prepubescent children with
enormous tits.

Now the saddest thing I've ever seen
Is a fat kid chasing down the ice cream truck
But tomorrow's tykes
Will be a-runnin' to that truck for
Liposculpture and a tummy tuck.

My Plastic Surgery Wagon
A friend to every race
Anyone can look like Cher!
Let us fix your face.

The Plastic Surgery Wagon's coming
And no one is immune
To the promise of perfection in the siren's lure
Of its signature tune:
"Oh did you happen to see the most
beautiful girl in the world?"