"Crazy Eddie's Last Hurrah" Lyrics

(Willy Braun)

(All right, kids, uh, I don't really know
what you guys are going to think of this.
It's, umm, maybe a bit. OFF THE WALL, uhh?
Fictional. So. uh, you may not like it,
but you'll find it amusing, at... at least.)

Well, it sure didn't take too long
I woke up this morning she was gone
And the note that she wrote didn't say "Dear John"
It said, "Goodbye, sucker, I'm gone."

She was a home-grown mountain girl
Raised in a different world
I was a wanna-be rocker, she was more into Merle
And I couldn't see it just wouldn't work.

And now I'm double fisting longnecks
And grapefruit and Stoli
But I'm never getting over Joelie.

Well, I poured myself in my car
I drove it on down to the bar
But they wouldn't let me in 'cause I ain't a movie star
So I went to the Horseshoe on Lamar.

The bouncer threw me out at two
And I didn't know what to do
So I picked up the phone and I called, guess who?
But the call block wouldn't let me through.

And now I'm wishing for some drugs
Or a shrink to console me
But I'm never gettin' over Joelie.

Well, I gathered up all my guns
And a pipe bomb just for fun
And I drove to her house and parked on the lawn
She's right, I always was a crazy one.

Well, her boyfriend was sure nice to me
He said, "Calm down, would you like a drink?"
And then I shot him full of holes from his nose to his knees
And I polished off my little sweet pea.

And I'm crying on me knees
Feeling dirty and unholy
But I'm never getting over Joelie.

Now I'll probably get life
And serve at least forty
But I'm never getting over Joelie...