"Someone's Been Sending Me Flowers" Lyrics

Someone's been sending me flowers
Oh what a sweet thing to do
every new day brings another bouquet
but I just don't know who to say thank you to

sometimes they're thrown through my window
down through my chimney they fall
sometimes at night when I turn out the light
they come through a crack in the wall

now that my house is a garden
bursting with blossoms in bloom
I stand there for hours admiring my flowers
I'd like to lie down but there's just isn't room

someone's been sending me flowers
more than I ever have had
remarkable stuff but enough is enough
if I see another bouquet I'll go mad.

He started by sending me bluebells
oddly enough they were grey
each faded bloom had a nasty perfume
besides being grey they were papier-mâché

there followed a garden of fungus
and then as a tropical treat
he sent me a plant that proceeded to pant
and later began to eat meat

the cactus corsage touched me deeply
beautiful plant in its prime
I felt much the same when the rock garden came
one rock at a time

somebody madly adores me
I know not whom to suspect
since I cannot afford to be madly adored
I do wish you'd stop sending flowers
collect