"My Very Own Church" Lyrics

(Welcome to our church this morning. The service is...)

(Oh, look at little Johnny. He's being such a good boy
at church this morning. I wonder what he's thinking about...)

If I had a church
This is what I would do
I'd put a pop machine
In the back of every pew
We would only sing songs
That were picked by me
And we would get out just in time
To watch football on TV

At my church
I'm talking about my very own church
(My very own church)
My church
I'm singing about my very own church
(Very own church)

If I had a church
There's a lot I would do
I'll make sure everyone was nice
And I would be nice, too
And the very best thing
I'm happy to report
Is everybody would love God
(Yet the sermons would be short)

At my church
I'm talking about my very own church
(My very own church, yeah)
My church
I'm singing about my very own church
(Very own church)

(Popcorn! Get your popcorn here! Ha, ha! Anyone? What's that?
Do I have change for ten? Ha, ho, ho! Don't worry about it, son.
It's free!)

(Yeah...)

If I'm good
The usher would get me some Taco Bell
And perhaps a little something
With a crunchy candy shell
And when the sermon's over
And our time is at an end
We'll be counting down the minutes
Till we could once again attend

My church
I'm talking about my very own church
(My very own church, yeah)
My church
(Can I get a witness, oh yeah)
I'm singing about my very own church
(Very own church)

At my church
(I don't have to comb my hair)
I'm talking about my very own church, yeah
(I can wear what I want to wear)
My church
(I don't have to wear a suit)
I'm singing about my very own church
(If I sit, no one will give a hoot)
(Very own church)

At my church
I'm talking about my very own church
(Play on the electric guitar)
My church
(Bang the drums loud, loud, loud)
I'm singing about my very own church
(Very own church)

At my church
I'm talking about my very own church
(Yeah)
My church
I'm singing about my very own church