"Sammy Shuttleworth's Party" गीत

Old Sammy Shuttleworth of Lancashire.
He gave a party last neet.
All the lads and lasses were there
Bunged in the door hole stuck reet!
The guest were fat and the house was small
And they got stuck in the entrance hall.
Owd Johnny Bugger got a tin of Vaseline,
He greased all the lobby and they all slid in!
Eeee! there were'undreds on the doormat.
Eeee! there were 'undreds on the rug,
Eeee! There were dozens on the slop stone.
Little Polly Higgins went and tumbled down the plug.
Eeee! And we heard a woman screamin',
We saw some lace and naughty ribbons blue.
And Aunt Maria sat on the fire
And went and burnt her Isle Of Wight.
And eeee by gum we 'ad a right good do.

At the supper there were cow-heel stew,
Real devilled tripe and pigs' feet,
While they were gollopin' the slutch, it's true,
You could 'ave 'eard 'em, next street,
Eee what fun when old Aunt Ruth
Speared a pickled onion on her front tooth,
Eee by gum and the fun were rich
When we all started fightin' for the parson's snitch!
Eeee! There were kippers a la francais,
Eeee! and saucy little Sal
Eeee! she guzzled all the fishbones,
They stuck up her Manchester and Liverpool canal,
Eeee! she were coughin' and a splutterin'
We 'ad to send around for Doctor Drew
And all the lads they stood around
And watched the Doctor fillet her,
And ee by gum, we 'ad a right good do.

After supper there was dustman's knock,
Kissin' all the wenches was fine,
Owd Albert 'Iggins, the lazy lad
He started workin' overtime,
Owd Aunt May, tha knows what she did
She did an exhibition dance on the copper boiler lid,
The lid it bust and we heard a scream,
You couldn't see me poor owd Aunty May for steam,
Eeee! with her brand new evening dress on,
Eeee! there were little Polly Dwyer
Eeee! and some bugger threw a woodbine
Down her camisole and set her shuttlecocks on fire.
Eeee! and they put 'er out wi' water,
Just when we'd all got a lovely view
So Albert 'Iggins got a match and set the
And ee by gum we 'ad a right good do.

At the party there was lots of ale,
But we ran out of pots at 'alf time
Owd Uncle Albert used the chamber po
And he said it tasted right fine,
Ee what fun when me Uncle 'Orace
Went and guzzled all the metal polish,
'E went black and started to cough
And the polish nearly polished Uncle 'Orace off.
Eeee! when we woke up in the mornin'
Eeee! we'd 'ad the time of all our lives,
Eeee! we were so enthusiastic
Other fellers toddled 'ome with other fellers' wives
Eeee! and we thowt it all were champion,
But what that party was we never knew,
'Coz if it was a wedding a christnin' or a funeral,
Eee by gum we 'ad a right good do...