"Close Shave" Sangtekst

Now Charlie Summers has a barber's shop
And the prettiest wife in town
I saw him on the street the other day
He said, "Why ain't you been around?"
"Come in tomorrow, I'll give you a shave"
"And it won't cost you a cent"
I rubbed by chin in puzzlement
But the next day there I went

Now he didn't smile when I said hello
And climbed up on his chair
"Just a shave today," is all he said
"I ain't got time to cut your hair"
And he tucked the towel around my neck
And he pulled it back real tight
I rubbed my chin as I looked at him
I thought something round here ain't right

He took the cup and he whipped the soap
And he slapped it on my jaw
I thought to myself that's a little bit rough
As some splashed on the floor
He covered my face till just my eyes
Peered out from under the foam
When I watched him move to the razor strop
I wished I'd stayed at home

He stropped that blade about fifty times
As miserable as sin
He jerked my whole head backwards
He put the razor under my chin
He leaned to my ear in a threatening tone
That was full of stress and strife
His smokey breath seared me to death
He said "Have you been seeing my wife?"

"Charlie" I said as I spat out foam
"How long have we been pals?"
"I don't know what you're talking about"
"It must be someone else"
He finished the shave and he towelled me down
And I went to pay the bill
"No charge," says he "that's down to me"
And I walked out past the bill

I wondered what made him think of me
Fooling with his wife
And him with a blade in his right hand
Sharper than any knife
Whether or not he'd hit the truth
I will take it to my grave
But when I rub my chin
I think of him
That was a pretty close shave