"This Is Not A Song, It's A Sandwich" Lyrics

I know what you are thinking. You're thinking this is a song.
Well I guess I'll just have to show ya exactly where you are wrong!
Why aren't ya hearin the cheese? Why aren't ya feelin the ham?
If you don't listen you'll miss it!
You don't understand!
I will explain it all once!
I can explain it all twice!
Make it clear to your brain until you're takin a bite!
It couldn't be a dam cause it doesn't have a beaver.
It's not the DMV cause it doesn't make you wait.
It couldn't be a taco cause it isn't very crunchy.
It couldn't be an Olson cause it isn't Marry Kate.
It cant be dirty dancing cause it doesn't make you vomit.
It couldn't be an iron cause it doesn't burn your face.
It couldn't be Bruce Campbell cause it isn't freakin awesome.
It couldn't be a keyboard cause it doesn't have a space...BAR!
Because, this is not a song, it's a sandwich
What would make you think otherwise?
This is not a song, it's a sandwich!
Now no more of your vile filthy lies!
This is a song.
NO IT'S A SANDWICH!
Umm, but its a song.
NO IT'S A SANDWICH!
So what are you thinking?
Still think this is a song?
Do you require more proof?
Do you enjoy being wrong?
Why aren't you hearing the meat?

Why aren't you feeling the bread?
If you don't listen you'll miss it!
You're making me sad!
I will explain it all once!
I can explain it all twice!
And then again and again until you're takin a bite!
It couldn't be a chick cause it doesn't want to marry.
It cant be windows vista cause it doesn't suck enough.
It couldn't be a boob cause it isn't very squishy.
It couldn't be a beer cause it isn't good and stuff.
It couldn't be a tub cause it doesn't have a ducky.
It couldn't be a stoner cause it doesn't have a joint.
It couldn't be an egg cause there is no Easter Bunny.
It couldn't be a song cause it doesn't have a point.
Because, this is not a song, it's a sandwich!
What would make you think otherwise?
This is not a song, it's a sandwich!
It's really just a hoggie in disguise!
I'm pretty sure this is a song.
NO, IT'S A SANDWICH!
Sooong.
SANDWICH!
SOOOONG!!!
SANDWICH!
Jesus dude, what is wrong with you!?
NO, IT'S A SANDWICH!
Lettuce, bacon, mayo, tomato,
cheese, olives, onion, frog,
tuna turkey peppers, salami, noodles, pizza, tires, crowbars!
You bought (or stole!) this dumb CD.
Now you are suffering.
Driving home, working out, or at your job.
At your house or wherever, on your iPod.