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"Glass Joe's Title Fight" Lyrics

Starbomb

Bonjour, hello, my name is Glass Joe!
I'm the toughest French boxer that you're ever gonna know
I score a TKO then drink a fine Bordeaux
And flatten all my opponents like croissant dough!
I fight next week for the champion belt
Mr. Sandman is tough and I might need a little help
So I hired Doc he once trained an elf
Named Little Mac so now I believe in myself

I'm Doc. Hi! This bitch is gonna die
His overall record stands at 1-99
He's been hit in the head 75 too many times
Now he wants to fight Sandman, dear God why!
His head and his ass are about to go through an estrangement
I think I'll start making all the funeral arrangements
I have to be responsible and tell him he can't win
Here's 10 bucks!
Fuck it let the training begin!

Whoa, whoa, I'll be the champion
I have the heart of a lion!
That's clearly not gonna be enough
I've got the skills,
No you don't...
I've got the power!
Wrong again!
You'll never catch me I am like the Eiffel Tower!
That doesn't move!
Whoa, whoa I'll be the champion
I'm building an arc of triumph
That took like 30 years to build!
I've got my beret, my Eau de toilette
I'll break this Sandman like a stale baguette,
No sweat!

Now it's 4 weeks later and it's time for the fight
I'm sad I gotta watch a man die tonight
Do not worry Doc, Glass Joe is built to last!
You get winded when you open up the fridge too fast!
Your weight training diet's all wine and cheese,
You got the body of a man with an awful disease!
Your arm muscles look like a deflated apple fritter,
And your punching bag is filled with cotton candy and glitter!

There's the bell, thanks for your help Doc!
Yeah, see you in hell.
This is my moment, Vive la France
All of my training has led to this chance.
I benched ten Q-tips, I ran five feet
I did half a push up, victory will be sweet!
There's Mr. Sandman, here he comes
But I believe in myself so I have already won!

Whoa, whoa I'll be the champion
I have the heart of...

Whoa, whoa I like candy corns..
Please put them in my doughnuts!
Oh, you beat the French outta him!
I have my...
My favorite color is seven
No more peanuts for me stewardess...
Godzilla is my dad
This song was submitted on January 16th, 2015.
Lyrics licensed by LyricFind.

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