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"The Toronto Sucks" Lyrics

Three Dead Trolls In A Baggie

4.6 / 5 (16)
The Toronto Sucks cover
I hate the skydome and the CN tower too
I hate Nathan Phillips Square and the Ontario Zoo
The rent's too high, the air's unclean
The beaches are dirty, and the people are mean
And the women are big, and the men are dumb
And the children are loopy cause they live in a slum
The water is polluted and the mayor's a dork
They dress real bad and they think they're New York
In Toronto, Ontario

You know, actually I think I pretty much hate all of Ontario
Oh ya, me too

I hate Thunderbay and Ottawa
Kitchener, Windsor, and Oshawa
London sucks, and the Great Lakes suck
And Sarnia sucks, and Turkey Point sucks

(In background:)
Moosoonee sucks and Beaverton sucks Southhampton sucks and Hull sucks, too
Peterborough, Marlborough, Stockton suck, Elk Bay Islands And Uxbridge suck
Mississauga sucks and Sterling sucks Port Elgin Sucks and Brighton sucks
Ravenhurst sucks and Sudbury sucks and Young's Point sucks and
Alan Thicke sucks!

I took a trip to Ontario, to visit Brian Mulroney
He beat me up and he stole my pants and he put me in a tree
I went to see the Maple Leafs, and got hit in the head with a puck
I don't even know how they did it, I mean I was playing the organ at the time

Ontario... sucks
Yup, actually you know now I really think about it,
I think I pretty much hate every gosh darn province and territory in our country
Well except Alberta
Oh ya, I love Alberta
It's very nice, lots of cows and trees and rocks and dirt (moo moo moo)

I hate Newfoundland cause they talk so weird
And Prince Edward Island is, too small
Nova Scotia's dumb cause it's the name of a bank
New Brunswick doesn't have a good mall
Quebec is revolting and it makes me mad
Ontario sucks, Ontario sucks

Manitoba's population density is 1.9 people per square kilometer. Isn't that stupid?
Saskatchewan is boring and the people are old
And as for the Territories they're too cold
And the only really good thing about the province of British Columbia is that it's right next to us
'Cause Alberta, doesn't suck
but Calgary does
This song was last modified on March 5th, 2022
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